1. Prep first. You’ll look like a pro, or at least a well-thought out beginner, if you are ready when the mood strikes. Keep lube, gloves, the lube shooter, baby wipes, any butt plugs, prostate stimulators and strap-on’s somewhere near where the action could happen. For a fresh feeling, use an anal douche, take a shower and do whatever else you need to do to prep for booty action.
2. Brain before Bum. In order to warm up the butt, you need to warm up the brain, and the body, first. Talk about what you’re going to do before you actually do it. “I’m going to slide my finger into your sexy/tight/juicy/sweet ass, but only after I know you want it.” Something like that could work to start the arousal process.
3. Arousing Anal. You’ve started the arousal process, but that doesn’t mean your done arousing. Touch everywhere except the anus, and slowly bring your partner to more! heightened! pleasure!
4. Communicate. If you can tell your partner what’s working and what’s not working, you will be sure to have a better overall experience. So let them know when they press on areas that really do it for you, and kindly and gently tell them when they don’t.
5. Breathe and Relax. While things are starting to slide and glide around, focusing on deep breathes and full body breathing to make you more sensitive to the experience. Whether you’re giving, or receiving, breathing is a great way to stay in touch with your partner, and your body. And just like Frankie says, “relax!” When you’re stiff and tight, anal sex doesn’t feel good, and can actually hurt.
6. Work it, slowly. That means prime the butt with lube, and lots of it. Start small before you go big. Use a finger before two, and a smaller toy before you go larger, and definitely before you get to the penis.
7. Toys Must Have a Flared Base. If it’s going up your bum, make sure it has a base that’s bigger than the toy itself. Want and example? Check this out.
8. Do what you do as long as it feels good. Whether it’s a finger, plug, beads or a prostate stimulator, use your moves and go with the groove. If you need to numb the butt, think twice about why you’re doing it and if you actually want to be doing it. The problem with numbing the butt is that you can’t actually feel what’s happening, and that can cause more harm than good. Other things to remember, the prostate and G-spot are always towards the belly button, and can generally be felt between 1-3 inches inside. Don’t go anal to vaginal, that’s not cool, but anal and vaginal at the same time, also called double penetration, can be. Most importantly, if starts to hurt, stop.
9. Orgasm, or don’t. When you’re done you’re done, and you don’t have to have an orgasm to end a session. End it when you’ve had enough and you’re ready for your partner, or your toy, to come on out.
10. Slow it down and out. Maybe you’ve had the most intense orgasm ever, and maybe you haven’t, either way, if there’s still something in your butt take it out slowly, and stay relaxed. When you’re finished wash up, wipe up and clean anything that’s been inserted up an anus.
Whatever direction you go, it helps to remember these points: lube it up, talk it up, and relax. Flared bases are your friends. And again, and most important, if it hurts stop, and slowly remove whatever is in your butt.