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Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

There’s often this debate about porn sex and whether it is, or isn’t, enough like the real thing. Before I dive into why porn sex should not be compared to real sex, I’d just like to add that I have never understood how we can sit back and watch Hollywood’s regular rotation of romantic comedies, and not discuss how that type of love happens about as often as winning the lottery (I’m talking mega millions here). While those same films alter our definition of what romantic love is, they are never dissected for their unrealistic portrayals of romance. Sure, porn sex isn’t real sex, but Hollywood romance isn’t real love either.

Yet, most people watch pornography (or talk about why they won’t watch it) and believe that the way people have sex in porn is the way all people will want to have sex in real life. Or at least, people who watch porn will question what’s wrong with them for not having/liking sex the same way porn performers do. In that sense, porn may harm the viewer’s expectation/understanding of sexual pleasure.

But instead of pointing fingers, or arguing if porn needs to show performers using condoms to improve safer sex odds, we should be incorporating this discussion into a more comprehensive sex education school program. That’s where we can truly teach youth what sex is, and what porn is too. Sadly, instead of educating the masses, or reminding people that porn sex is filmed for money and entertainment, just like Hollywood big budget romances are, we question if what we see in porn is genuine sex, and we talk about it quietly. As we learn more about sex, we wonder if porn sex should be what we aspire to in our own sex lives. But, instead of looking at porn as acting, we sometimes look at porn as sex instruction. It’s more like acting than not-acting, and if we should think of porn actors as actors who, instead of baring their soul to the camera, bare their snatch.

Yes, watching porn can alter someone’s definitions of what sex is, or should be. While it can inspire imaginative sex for some couples, it can also bring up feelings of anger, disgust, shame and sadness. And just because a partner likes watching porn sex does not mean the sex you’re having in real life is wrong, not-good-enough or unsatisfying either. Society wants us to think porn is ruining sex, but it’s that attitude that’s ruining porn. If it can be thought of anyway, to me, porn sex is one of those things you watch to help inspire the real sex in your life. Or sometimes you just watch it to get off. Period.

 

Porn Point 1. Porn Actors Are Having Sex For The Camera

I know you want to believe porn sex just happens spontaneously, when the pizza boy delivers a piping, hot sausage sub, but a lot of porn is actually blocked and positions are discussed beforehand. The director, and his or her crew are trying to get the best angles for the sex they’re about to shoot. Porn performer’s get into uncomfortable, compromising and less erotically pleasurable positions at times because those positions offer access and angles for the camera.

 

Porn Point 2. Porn Performers Are Getting Paid to Get Laid

Whether or not they give good performance, the reason most people have sex for the camera is because they pay their bills by having sex for the camera. Porn actors get paid to pretend that they are enjoying the sex they’re having on camera, whether or not it’s the best! sex! ever! Of course, it’s arguable that if they don’t make it look good, what’s the point? But the point is that porn performers are performing, which means we need to stop thinking we’re seeing into their personal love lives too.

 

Porn Point 3. Cameralingus Is Not Cunnilingus

I’ve talked about this one quite a bit, but in porn the amount of tongue you see is too much tongue, making porn approved oral sex the kind of thing you see because porn actors are doing it for the camera. Often when porn stars “eat out” I call it cameralingus (NSFW). When you’re actually performing oral sex correctly,  the tongue is busy being all up in her pussy.

 

Porn Point 4. It’s Often The Story Of The Hung Hero

The unsung hero of porn is the penis. Not only the large, thick, erect-like-nobody’s-business-penises, but the penis that can keep going and going, having sex for as much time as it takes to watch Dances With Wolves. And although Ron Jeremy claims to have never used enhancements, that’s not how some of the industry roles. So, unless he has circus dick, excellent swordsmanship or a serious connection to good, hard enhancements, his penis isn’t always going to act like a porn stars can.

 

Porn Point 5. Anal Sex Requires Anal Prep

Most porn performers who take it like a champ in the out door, know they are about to take it like a champ up the rear end. That means no beans or coffee, or other roughage that would make anal sex unpleasant.

In being anal about anal, most anal-enthusiasts prep with a warm-water douche before their scene. They also know what lube they like, and they know to how to use it, and they may have even prepped with a butt plug  beforehand.

 

Porn Point 6. There’s A Whole Lot of Squirting Going On

This is a blog post in and of itself, however, let’s just say that porn star ejaculate involves a lot of pressing down on the pelvic floor and extensive hydration. That means drinking gallons of water so that a porn performer can make streams of water shoot out her vagina. That also means ejaculation is an art in practice, and not something that just happens to a highly aroused woman.

 

Porn Point 7. Dirty Talk Verse Uncomfortable Silence

Porn performers talk because it adds to the scene. In real world sex, there are a lot of reasons we stay quiet in bed (like roommates or because we’re just quiet in bed). In porn there’s a lot more moaning and groaning because porn stars think it contributes to their acting, or because it adds another dimension to the sex scene. For some people, silent porn is just not as interesting to watch, and so porn adds music and moans. Next time you wonder if you talk enough during sex, just turn up the volume on a porn, and let the soundtrack moan for you.

 

Porn Point 8. Come On My Face Is Not A Universal Finisher

I don’t know why the face has become the place for the money shot, but porn makes this seem like the most popular place to finish things off. Always ask before ejaculating on someone’s face. Or better yet, just point it somewhere else, like in the condom, or their back, boobs or belly. However you choose to finish, just remember porn sex is only real sex if you’re goal in real sex is having porn sex. And if you’re going to have porn sex, prepare for it beforehand. That means communicate what you want and practice your dirty talk. Because porn sex is planned out, and real sex is in the moment.

 

If you want to read even more on porn sex verse real sex, check out Make Love Not Porn.

 

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